own it

The evolution of my tastes and preferences for my place of dwelling is really…something. Entertaining, would be a good describer word.

I remember when I was around ten years old; my mom had a designer customize a beautiful eyelet comforter, eyelet trimmed pillows, and pink and white gingham curtains with a matching canopy for over my bed. My stuffed animals sat on the cushioned window seat, properly nestled together. My mom worked hours and hours every week. What did she do with those hard earned pennies, but spend them on a dreamy, princess-like bedroom set to help me feel like the space was mine. There is something to be said for calling a space your own, and feeling that it is. How we make it our own-the actual process of arriving at the end product-is what makes it so gratifying. In my early teenage years, I started to outgrow the princess vibe and decided I wanted something crazier. Well, what I did next was absolutely that. Im talking bright pink and green stripes, zebra curtains and pictures pinned all over my walls in the shape of a heart. Here is the kicker: a waterbed. Yup, I said it.

After being married for a couple years, my husband and I achieved a huge goal of purchasing a house in our home town. I was slow to fill the walls and select furniture to fill the empty rooms. I didn’t want to rush into anything because when I go back home to my parents’ house and still see those crazy stripes on the wall (no they haven’t painted that room yet even though it’s been more than 5 years since I last lived there), I think “WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING!”. The self-shame was paralyzing! The drastic nature of my style evolution actually inhibited my ability to design our new space. However over the course of six months, I became inspired by the blank canvas. I felt excited as I found pieces that I loved.

In the last couple years of living in our house, it has become OUR home, because it has been entirely our creative direction leading the way. I am not a licensed designer, I am not a decorator, I am just a ginger with specific likes and dislikes. Acknowledging my own preferences has given me the confidence to create something I truly love. Sure, I will continue to evolve and change, but that is OK. All that matters is that I have self-assurance in my own creative direction.


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