This is how I responded, when I was praised for pursuing something for myself (my new side hustle selling cosmetics). I didn’t respond in a way I typically would; with a short, “thanks, girl!”. I challenged myself to write what I really was thinking.
“…I remember feeling very isolated (even if in my own mind) when I first became a mama…it’s a huge transition- and important to start to feel it out on our own how we can exist independently. How we can have time for ourself. How our passions and personal growth can coincide with the newness of motherhood. It’s 10 months later and I think I’m starting to figure it out just now. [It’s] Hard to remember to be patient and remember that it’s a phase in life at moments, ya know? Obviously motherhood is blissful, but we are still our own human beings and it’s important to acknowledge and honor that.”
Since I’ve started to write purposefully, I am more aware of things. Things that I usually would brush under the rug, or not even notice. I’m not trying to be on a high horse, by any means! No one likes a know-it-all. I am just trying to say that I am more aware of the fact that we generally lack vulnerability because it makes us uncomfortable. It leaves us open to be hurt, or judged by others; even if it’s in a silent change of body language, or a short response that allows someone to disengage in a conversation. I notice now.
So, instead of holding back, I plan on speaking up. I want to be honest with what I am thinking because it only enhances a conversation, often bringing more meaning and value to the interaction. What’s the worst that can happen, if I speak what’s really on my mind or say what I’m really feeling. I think that I am an alright person. A decent mother and wife; so why would I then let fear dictate opportunities to reveal who I truly am to others?